A Lesson in Christian Forgiveness
Genesis 31:43–55 (NASB95)
43Then Laban replied to Jacob, “The daughters are my daughters, and the children are my children, and the flocks are my flocks, and all that you see is mine. But what can I do this day to these my daughters or to their children whom they have borne? 44“So now come, let us make a covenant, you and I, and let it be a witness between you and me.” 45Then Jacob took a stone and set it up as a pillar. 46Jacob said to his kinsmen, “Gather stones.” So they took stones and made a heap, and they ate there by the heap. 47Now Laban called it Jegar-sahadutha, but Jacob called it Galeed. 48Laban said, “This heap is a witness between you and me this day.” Therefore it was named Galeed, 49and Mizpah, for he said, “May the Lord watch between you and me when we are absent one from the other. 50“If you mistreat my daughters, or if you take wives besides my daughters, although no man is with us, see, God is witness between you and me.” 51Laban said to Jacob, “Behold this heap and behold the pillar which I have set between you and me. 52“This heap is a witness, and the pillar is a witness, that I will not pass by this heap to you for harm, and you will not pass by this heap and this pillar to me, for harm. 53“The God of Abraham and the God of Nahor, the God of their father, judge between us.” So Jacob swore by the fear of his father Isaac. 54Then Jacob offered a sacrifice on the mountain, and called his kinsmen to the meal; and they ate the meal and spent the night on the mountain. 55Early in the morning Laban arose, and kissed his sons and his daughters and blessed them. Then Laban departed and returned to his place.
Jacob and Laban stood at a crossroads. Years of conflict, deception, and rivalry had left deep scars. Laban tried to claim everything Jacob had, but he could not deny that God had blessed Jacob. Faced with reality, Laban offered a peace treaty. Jacob agreed. Together, they set up a stone pillar and a heap of stones. These markers stood as witnesses. They marked the boundary between two peoples. They also testified to God’s faithfulness in keeping His promises.
Each man named the heap in his own language. Laban called it Galeed. Jacob called it Mizpah. The names showed that their identities remained separate, even as they made peace. Laban invoked the God of Abraham and Nahor. Jacob swore by the Fear of Isaac. Their oaths revealed a spiritual divide. Laban’s faith was mixed and confused. Jacob’s faith was clear and focused on the one true God.
They sealed the agreement with a meal. Sharing food created a bond of hospitality and obligation. The peace was fragile. It depended on God’s oversight, not human trust. Laban’s concern for his daughters came too late. He had mistreated them for years. Now he demanded Jacob treat them well. The irony was clear. Human nature often cares about consequences only after the damage is done.
God watched over the agreement. The heap of stones and the pillar stood as reminders that God sees and judges. He holds people accountable for their promises. He ensures justice, even when human relationships fail.
Remember the words of Paul, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.” (Romans 12:18) Believers should pursue peace, even with difficult people. I think this helps us understand what Christian forgiveness looks like. Forgiveness does not mean we must allow people to continue harming us or indefinitely tolerate bad behavior. What it does mean is that we do not act like Laban to the Labans in our lives. That is what Jacob did. He named the bad behavior for what it was. It made it clear it could not continue. But then he forgave and made a covenant of peace.
In a world of Labans, be a Jacob.